Submission scaries: lean into the fear and just do it

Despite the stinging scratch on my left middle finger, I'm still going to keep typing despite the itchy quasi-pain. Guys, I did it. I just did it. The email has been sent. It's over.I submitted an essay to a prominent publication, for a much-beloved column. My superstitious mind is avoiding naming said media outlet and point my finger at the column. Needless to say this is BIG for me. And big in general.While I'm sad I haven't written a new blog post in about a week, life got in the way as it can do. Sneaky little life. Inspiration and life events sparked a different kind of writing, that flew out my brain through my fingers. Rather than believing it was the most perfect, awe-inspiring, literary offering the world has ever seen, I slept on it. I sent it to friends to read. I let it stew. And then I tore it to shreds and pieced together a new second draft, and third.It felt good. I feel good. I feel inspired and humbled and excited that I worked out a piece of writing. It's not the best thing I've ever written. It's pretty good. I like it! I massaged the words and was able to get candid and insightful feedback that helped me tighten the message and hone in on what I was really trying to say.I know the editors may not love the piece. It could get rejected. The process to completion and getting it in a submittable-place was cathartic. I worked through feelings and also experienced what it might be like to be a full time writer. I won't lie to you, it was an excellent feeling of energy and bright, warm brain light glowing inside of my physical being. Needless to say, it was cool and I want to do it again.As a newly minted blogger (for this blog at least), I'm publicly writing a recommitment to this here outlet of my thoughts, and hopes and mostly my fears and anxieties. I will continue to write as honestly and frequently as life will allow. But dear life, don't worry. There's always room for you and I will give you the space you need.It's time to go with the flow a little more and break off some over-controlling pieces of me personality.The words come to me better when I'm at ease.