Self-underestimation: a weekend self-diagnosis of my writing
This weekend my significant other sought my help with a writing project. He's working on a proposal for work which isn't an every day occurrence. See, he's not very writing inclined. He doesn't enjoy reading for pleasure and works with people in a much different way than I do for my comms responsibilities at my tech company.
He kept saying he felt bad that he was making more work for me. Let me tell you something, it didn't feel like work. I have a secret: it was actually fun.Editing and organizing unstructured writing and massaging words into easy-to-read, informative and entertaining prose is exciting and fun. And I love it.There I said it. And I care who knows it. It's fun, and I enjoy it.
If it brings me joy, and it's a huge part of my job which I'm hired and paid to do, why all the self-underestimation about my writing? Why do I constantly question my talent and skills if I'm actually writing for a living? Even if it isn't the exact type of writing work I'd imagine I'd be doing for a career. I'm still doing it.Cut to the end of the weekend, after I've spent a few hours going over my S.O.'s goals and initial ideas for the proposal. I worked with him to give him some ideas on how to structure his proposal, and some options about how to rephrase a few areas. Throughout the process he gave me all sorts of positive feedback. Which I won't lie, I enjoy. I love validation. Don't we all?When we polished up the document, he was so grateful and said those magic words: "You're so talented."
I know I should be confident in my abilities, and simply enjoy the process of writing, but I can't help constantly evaluating myself. Against what, I'm not certain. I just am competitive with myself, and hard on myself, and haven't enjoyed writing in a long time. Until this blog of course.My friends were right. This blog and the fundamental act of creating it, naming it, picking some free stock images and my own iPhone photos to pepper in has been so fulfilling. It gives me that instant gratification I so want. Plus, I get the opportunity to explore all these nagging questions in my mind about my writing, and all whilst I'm writing. Good times.At the end of the day, this auspicious Sunday as I sink into the couch and get ready to watch Game of Thrones, Season 7, episode 5, I feel good about my writing. I'm pleased to be able to help my S.O. with writing, and pen posts from time to time in this blog, and to write every day for my job.Even though it's not a great American novel, or a witty essay, or a sharp and poignant novella, writing makes me happy. The act of scribing with a pen, hearing the chatter of my laptop keys clicking away, it puts me at ease.And I feel like I've accomplished something. Very important when you're deadline-driven and seeking out the feeling of productivity.I'm curious if anyone else is blogging out there and feeling good about their accomplishments? Does it still feel like you're not working on your "true art" or some other such notion? Leave it in comments, and I'll be sure to reply.As it says in my work bio, I enjoy verbal sparring. And even more so, verbal discourse.Adios!